Tell him what you want and he'll say, "You got it!"

ut only if you've been nice, not naughty.

Of course, in that fetid steaming pile of reindeer poo he calls his "brain," naughty includes but is not limited to—

• being old and requiring health care goods or services beyond what some uncaring and careless faraway government bureaucrat deems "cost-effective"
• driving a car that doesn't look like it was made for a decimated troop of clowns traveling across the center ring of a three-ring circus (and no farther)
• eating anything with more than 0% fat
• drinking a Pepsi^®, diet or otherwise
• refusing to be made a Medical Ward of the State™
• flying to a major city in lavish jets (and then some)
• smoking

Of course, it isn't naughty when any of the above applies to him or his.

Now if you want to be deemed Extra Nice™ by him, and thus entitled to be on the take receive his very, very special bonus gifts, you must—

• be an ACORNazi, SSEIU domestic terrorist^(birm), HCAN bot, member of an Organizing for Health sCare "grassroots" AstroTurfed^® mob, AARP tin ear exec, cowardly Demoqrat al-Qongress"man"^(birm) ("available" for hiding behind human-infant shields a plus), Friend Accomplice of Baracketeer™, or medical doctor who doesn't take the Hippocratic Oath "too seriously"
• demand that government taxpayers pay for your abortion(s)
• drive a putt-putt clown car (in or outside the center ring)
• mindlessly chant "Yes, We Can!" or "Yes, We Did!" a lot (as opposed to unavoidably concluding "Yes, We Are Getting Screwed A Lot!" a lot)
• see swastikas that no one else can while not seeing those that are plainly visible to everyone else
• "think" feel 52% = "mandate to turn the United States into the former Soviet Union (or worse)"

Any one or more of the above will do.

Only unlike that trustworthy jolly old man residing at the "melting" North Pole, dour insolent liar Obama Claus is totally unable to deliver anyone any of things he's promised the country lickspittle "mainstream" media poodles comfortably lounging on his lap that he would.

Some of their pertinent headlines:

• Aging Santa ordered to attend end-of-life counseling sessions
• Environmental agency: flying reindeer flatulence destroying ozone layer, Santa must replace them all with propeller and "giant rubber band"
• Mobs of angry elves organized by Big Toy™ invade congress members' childhood-reform town halls
• Cash-for-sleighs program "a tremendous success," Big Rubberband™ profits soar
• Gift-giving reform bill's proponents: public option "will allow you to keep Santa"
• Sotomayor dissenting opinion: "Chrismass (sic) should be declared unconstitutional"
• TARP panel foresees no bailout for Santa
• American Association of Holiday Decorations Manufacturers opposes White House "happier, hopier holidays" plan — nationwide ad campaign launched: "When Christmas trees are outlawed, only outlaws have Christmas trees"
• Appointment of "he knows when you've been bad or good" czar raises "very little concerns" about privacy
• Candy cane tax dampens Christmas spirit
• SSEIU decries Santa's "racist" treatment of elves
• Two presents per season seen as "sensible, common sense gift-control"
• A public option success story: Santa's ill wife, when offered only assisted suicide, claims she's "getting better"
• "Acceptable insurance" evaders targeted by IRS
• Obama Claus: current sacks empty because "we inherited all of them from the Santa administration"
• Peloseri and Reidtard: bill outlawing lumps of coal in stockings must pass before Congress adjourns for holidays — each wants to end "that particular personal embarrassment"

Labels: fascist totalitarian liberals (BIRM), Kommunist Kool-Aid Kult (aka liberalism), Liberalism Kills, lying liberals (BIRM), miserably failing liberals (BIRM), thieving liberals (BIRM)

	2:24 AM

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