(sung in the oft-stumbling voice of Teh Øn[c]e™ to "If I Only Had A Brain") could bring my way all powers,
Low oceans and May showers— er, I mean, April flowers,
Lo, behold me, a hella stompter.
And my head's emptinessin'
Would have somethingness in, uh, it
If I only had a teleprompter.
I'm so puzzled and befuddled
When it stops right in the muddle... er, middle
While questioned by a Anna Compter— eh, Ann Compton.
Eyes glazed over and unblinkin',
Less life than ol' dead Abe Lincoln...
Ugh, if I only had a teleprompter!
Oh, I could tell you why I have to tax the poor,
I could mention things like how the Right's real sore,
And then I'd say... (Hey, scroll some more!)
I would not be just a fascist
Who barks "what's 'neath your mattrist... er, mattress
Is mine to tax 'n' spenter squander."
I would fly across the seas,
Make weak-kneed apologies,
If I only had a, uh, uh, telepromder... what?
Oh, uh, eh... tele-prop— er, prompt, uh, er
(Get this thing back online... hurry!
No, I don't care if it's blogging right now.
Tell it to stop, I'm startin' to have Teh Shakes®!
Uh, er, uh, yeah, uh, come on...
If I only had a brain.)
Labels: clue-challenged liberals (BIRM), dangerously incompetent liberals (BIRM), fascist totalitarian liberals (BIRM), idiot liberals (BIRM), lying liberals (BIRM), miserably failing liberals (BIRM)
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