Friday, December 05, 2008 |
And by "Government," I mean We the Sucked-Dry Taxpaying Suckers of the United States™.ear Qongress-Kowtowing, Union-Whipped, Envirowacko-Sycophantic Chief "Executives" of the Big Bankrupt Three Automobile Manufacturers:
First, read the handy self-help guide at this link then come back here.
Yes, click it now.
(You, too, Mr. Ford CEO.)
. . .
Everyone else reading this can go ahead and finally save for and take that long dreamed-of vacation to Europe... then Hong Kong... then — no doubt it's going to take them awhile — Australia... then Rio de Janeiro... then Outer Mongolia... then—
Good. They're back. You can cancel your Siberian Whirlwind Tour™ travel plans.
Besides, I was running out of even implausible vacation spots to recommend.
Wasn't that informative and helpful, B3 "Executives"? (Be quiet, Mr. Ford CEO. I wasn't asking you.)
OK. Now that we're figuratively on the same literal Web page, you can continue reading this open letter.
Ready?
Excellent.
All right, second:
Do you remember the part about "How Chapter 11 Works"? (It was towards the top, Mr. Ford CEO.) No? Well, it says
- A chapter 11 case begins with the filing of a petition with the bankruptcy court serving the area where the debtor has a domicile or residence.
That would be "Detroit" for those of you "running" your bankrupt factories
in Rio Linda into the ground in
Detroit. Here's the
address along with other useful information:
- Clerk
United States Bankruptcy Court
Eastern District Of Michigan
Suite 2100
211 West Fort Street
Detroit, MI 48226
telephone: (313) 234-0065
hours: 8:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. (M-F)
After you properly file your bankruptcy forms, wondrous and glorious things begin to happen. Harvard economics professor Martin Feldstein explains:
- (You) would be able to continue producing cars, and (your) workforce would remain employed while (your) firms reorganized. (Your) firms would also be able to get short-term credit under bankruptcy protection.
The bankruptcy court could require the unions to rewrite contracts, bringing wages down to levels that would allow (your) firms to compete and therefore to maintain employment. Scaling back employee and retiree health benefits would further improve price competitiveness and allow better cash wages.
Before you download and fill out and file those bankruptcy forms, read this third and last thing:
Finally, run your business as a business.
Whatever your customers want, offer them it. No one-seater 300-pound clown cars that require the clown driver to plug his or her "car" into the nearest electrical outlet every third mile. No car bodies made of Japanese rice paper which wouldn't survive a hit from three-year-old Little Johnny's wildly thrown Wiffle® ball, much less a crash at 70 MPH on the Interstate. No car engines fueled by the gaseous waste products that prodigiously belch from Barney Frank's piehole.
Moreover, whatever your workers want, refuse them it if it would mean you not being able to: (1) offer your customers what they want (see last paragraph), or (2) keep your costs comfortably enough below your revenues to ride out inevitable economic downturns or drop-offs in your sales, or (3) any combination of (1) and (2). And don't budge one inch on that refusal.
Now get busy and do it, and leave us already way overburdened taxpayers out of it.
OK. You can stop reading this now.
(Dern it, Mr. Ford CEO. That means you too. I'm tired of seeing your IP skewing my page-reload counts.)
Disgustedly yours,
Labels: tax'n'spend liberals (BIRM), Union of Soviet-style Socialist States of America, Victimhood Inc.
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