Of the mainstream media in particular, and of the tru^th in general.


anoi John F'in' al-Qerry's campaign advisor and top fundraiser from Texas has been named a co-conspirator in an indictment issued today against Saddan Rather, a close relative of one of the Mainst Reammedia family members massacred last Thursday.

Preliminary results of an autopsy performed on the putrid remains of Ms. Concoct Bogus Stories and others reveal that none of the decrepit old louts died of natural causes. All had suffered a massive memoforgerary Wednesday evening and were rushed to Elcubo Memorial Blogospital, where each was pronounced dead the next day. With clear, credible, and convincing evidence of foul play, blogthorities indicted both Mr. Rather and the Qerry campaign advisor for direct involvement in their murders.

The indictment says that the crime of truthocide was committed by Mr. Rather during his interview with Ben Barnes, 66, described by one of the deceased, Newy Orktimes, as "an adviser to Senator John Qerry's campaign and an influential lobbyist" from Texas who said in 1999 that no one in the Bush family asked him to contact the head of the Texas Air National Guard regarding George W. Bush's enlistment in it over 34 years ago. Mr. Barnes is also credited with raising over $460,000 in contributions to the al-Qerry campaign.

The indictment, which was not sealed, includes a number of unindicted co-conspirators. Among them is BiIsIs al-Qlinton, who claims he has an airtight alibi in that he was undergoing heart surgery at the time the crime was being taped for airing. Several pinched nurses came forward at a post-operation news conference to substantiate his claim.

Senior officials at the al-Qerry campaign confirm that Mr. Barnes is a top advisor and fundraiser for the no-show senator, and that they are reviewing whether any of the forged memos had been stuffed inside this one's briefs and socks. "We have a strict policy against Qerry advisors using their clothing for illicit activities like that," said one Qerry campaign official who spoke on condition of anonymity. "But I'm not sure what our policy is regarding an advisor's complicity in peddling forged documents. At least it appears he didn't have them stuffed down his pants."

	1:08 PM

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