Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's announcement Tuesday that his office will work with California democrats to craft legislation that will allow illegal immigrants to obtain driver's licenses was greeted with cheers, celebratory fireworks, and ringing of bells in Mexico City.

U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) was on hand for the celebration, saying that it marked a "glorious day" for the people of Mexico. "Our state is one step closer to uniting with our sisters and brothers south of what we hope will soon no longer be the border," she yelled in English at the assembled crowd.

The state's Democratic Party passed a resolution making Governor Schwarzenegger both an honorary citizen of Mexico and the vice-chair of the party's recently inaugurated "I'm A Mexican, Too" voter-registration campaign. Asked by phone what the governor's duties would be, California Democratic Party chairman Art Torres explained that Schwarzenegger will "pump up the undocumented-worker community and get them registered to vote."

"(Illegal aliens) are under-represented in our state legislature, and indeed in most of our city and country governments," Torres said. "They should have a voice. And the governor and our party will fight to give them that voice. Together we will unite people in both California and Mexico in an effort to finally rid ourselves of that racist-inspired border which artificially separates us."

Part of this "borderless society" effort, explained Torres, is making sure illegal aliens obtain the right the vote in California's elections. "Just because someone happens to live on the 'wrong' side of a line drawn by white men in Washington (D.C.) doesn't mean they shouldn't have the right to vote. That's racist and discriminatory. And we will fight it," said the party's chairman. He noted that having a California drivers license is the same as registering to vote in that state because of the federal voting-rights law known as the Motor Voter Act.

San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom welcomed the governor's announcement. "I stand for the law if I personally believe it's right. And this new proposal will be enforced by me whether the politicians in Sacramento actually pass it or not," Newsom declared, referring to the state's elected lawmakers. "The distinction between Mexican citizen and California citizen - like the discriminatory distinction between husband/wife and husband/husband or wife/wife marriages - will, starting right now, be no more in this town."

John al-Qerry, senator of the state from which the terrorists who destroyed the World Trade Center boarded the two planes that were used to kill nearly 3,000 people in those attacks, called Schwarzenegger to congratulate him on his appointment as IAMT's vice-chair. "He really deserves it," the part-time senator and full-time walking Botox ad told reporters outside his Boston campaign headquarters. "This should mean a lot to all those people who have been unfairly disenfranchised all these years by the biggest bunch of liars and crooks I've ever seen." When asked why he thinks non-citizens should have the right to vote in American elections, al-Qerry responded that "I am, you are, we all are Mexicans, too, if you think about it. So how would you like it if someone didn't let you vote just because you're Mexican? That's not right."

Workers' unions generally praised Schwarzenegger for his f-ing Qerry-like flip-flop. At least one, however, called for the governor to reconsider his decision as well as his newfound affiliation with IAMT.

At the headquarters of the VRWC of California, the union was flooded with emails demanding that it call upon its vast resources to stop the state's "de facto secession" to Mexico. "As much as I would like to see most of California actually secede from the union and take most of our country's raving moonbats with it," one emailer said, "they're trying to burden the United States with another flood of illegal-alien voters just so they can get the state's 55 electoral votes for that haughty French-speaking candidate."

After that email was forwarded to the French consulate in Los Angeles, white flags were flown from every window of its main building, marking the first time the French have ever surrendered to an email.

	10:15 AM

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